Closing Remarks

I don't know how else to say it, so I'm just going to come right out with it and be blunt. I will be closing this blog. It may be next week and it may be next month but its time to say goodbye to this blog.
When I started this blog, I was just a teenager, I remember how excited I was to be a blogger, ( I thought it was a big deal.) It was thrilling watching the page views grow and grow, and amazing to know that people not just in my country but other countries were reading Bat Of An Eye. I took this blog with me on the journey from awkward teenager to the messy life I live today.
Part of the reason I'm closing it is that, I don't get nearly enough time to write here as I used to anymore  ( things have been difficult lately and difficult situations make it difficult to blog.) . Another reason is my viewing numbers have declined, and that's totally understandable because my post are few and far between.
I'm not saying I will never blog again, I just wont be blogging from here any longer. I may keep this blog up until I'm writing again, elsewhere and then send a link for anyone who was dedicated to reading this crazy stuff. Hopefully I will be able to update it more than I've updated here in the past few years.
I'm just trying to get my life together, In a few days I'll be 21, I have dreams I want to make reality and goals I want to accomplish, I will definitely be writing again somewhere. Please don't look at this as "Goodbye". Look at it as "See You Later"...I feel like were breaking up. This is awkward. I just feel like I've grown out of this blog. Fifteen seems forever ago.
If you were a dedicated reader, you have my sincerest heartfelt thank you. And if you just stumbled across my blog and decided to give it a read, I thank you as well.  Thank you for reading my life. I hope it was entertaining and I hope you will stick around until I can give you that link. You've basically read my diary, Its been a joy writing for you, however boring or sad it might have been to read.



-Thank you for reading Bat Of An Eye.
Helen Elizabeth Jordan

What exactly, is my problem?

I'm trying not to become irritable, But there are so many things that I have not accomplished. So many projects that are not finished and as much as I would like to blame it all on 14in. of snow, It has nothing to do with the weather, and everything to do with depression. I set my alarm for 8:30 a.m. and still manage to sleep through till 11:00. Then I only have a small amount of time to do what needs to be done for the day, Now that I have to go outside every so often and use a snow shovel, I  have even less time to do anything besides read a chapter in a book and eat dinner. Suddenly I wish I were still working. At least I would feel as if I had accomplished something at the end of the day. Instead I just wake up at 10:45 and feel like a bum. I need to arrange my poems and I need to write, I need to do this and I need to do that,

So why is it that all I can think about is "I wonder when this day will be over and I can go back to sleep."

Literally all I can think about 90% of the time is "when can I go back to sleep" and when I go to write something  its filled with unhappiness, because I am unhappy, something about my life is so unsatisfying and I have yet to realize what it is. I'll let you know when it hits me, but probably not because I may take a nap first and then when I wake up from the nap and say to myself "Maybe I should blog today." I'll talk myself out of it. Read, eat dinner and then go back to sleep until winter is over. Why? Because I'm a sad, loser. To put it plainly. As of now my life is a moose turd.

In other news,,,

Update on books:

Some of these were given to me as Christmas presents, some were ordered from Thriftbooks and some were given to me by friends, I particularly liked "Welcome to my Planet" by Shannon Olson, "Tick Tock" by Dean Koontz, and "Cracked" by K. M. Walton. (Side note: True friends share books they've already read and they don't mind when you "forget" to return them.)

-Liz

Life On Earth

Its a brand new year. I will be the first to admit it, I'm a pessimist. I tend to never get my hopes up. However, I have high expectations for this year. Instead of making a ridiculously difficult new years resolution, I've simply decided to ENJOY MYSELF this year. I usually put my personal happiness at the bottom of the list of "Important things", so this year I'm going to try my best to smile more, to have a less conservative attitude toward new things, new experiences and new people. I know I've said I wanted to become a rock because rocks don't feel anything they just lie around not caring about anyone or themselves or weather they are a rock or not. But I cant stop caring. I have decided that I no longer want to be a rock, Instead I should like to be play-dough. I'm going to let life tear me apart and  roll me around and mold me into something (someone) alive, I've got great people in my life now, and I don't want to lose them by being indifferent about everything, In fact, I like them quite a bit, I want to continue having them near by. I want to have opinions, I want to care. Because that's one of the most human things I can do. I can care. What I'm saying is, I want to keep living, while there is life on earth. Happy New Year.

-Liz