Drowning.

I haven't updated this in a while, and I'm sorry.

Actually I'm not, because I've been busy so I haven't really thought about posting anything. And the times when I could have been posting I've been reading. 

I've been working as well, let me just say, saving money is not easy in any way. I've been trying to save up for Christmas but its not looking good. Does anyone else have those certain people in their family who always say the same thing every year when it comes to Christmas "You don't have to buy anything for me." but what they don't realize is that, YOU WANT TO BUY THEM SOMETHING or you wouldn't be asking them. Correct? AND by saying that they leave you with no idea of what they would like, so you have to go out to every store in search of something they "might" like.

Here are a couple of things you missed while I was away. I took a picture of my feet while wearing socks and sandals and realized the look was extraterrestrial. 

Halloween happened. My mom helped us make this dummy to put outside, I helped Al carve the Jack-o-lantern. We had exactly one trick or treater. So my sister and I ate all the candy....

I got this sticker in the mail because I voted in 2012 and I wore it after I voted on the 4th. I got really excited. Not sure why.

My mother has been sick for the past week, So my sister and I decided to go run errands for her in town. It was pretty cold outside, the wind was savage and we basically jogged into different stores finding things Mom needed. While we were in IGA getting some things we got a fabulous dint in the car from a cart someone neglected to push to the cart return...

As for today. It has been rotten. I drove my mom around town all day. And got very annoyed. I've gotten to the point where I'd like to tell the world to just leave me alone, but that's scroogey, and I should probably be nice to children and puppies. but as for everyone else in the world, I'm really tired of being nice while people stomp all over me. It feels like I'm drowning.

 I need to take scuba lessons...oh wait, I cant swim...

-Liz

Self Diagnosed.

      For the past few weeks I've done nothing but read all day long (I'll be going back to work tomorrow, so I've been trying to get reading in, while I still can). I've been reading so much that I now have a very twitchy eye. Below you will find a list of the books I've been reading since the last time I blogged. Have in mind that I read a few I didn't care for (specifically the one about the kids in the mazes, don't hate me to much).

-The Maze Runner by James Dashner

-Cryer's Cross by Lisa McMann

-Eleven On Top by Janet Evanovich














-Between The Lines by Jodi Picoult & Samantha Van Leer














-A Confederacy Of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole (Strongly suggest this one.)

     From reading the first twenty pages of a book entitled "Overcoming Anxiety, Worry, and Fear" by Gregory L. Jantz, phD. I have self diagnosed myself with GAD, panic attacks, social phobia and social anxiety disorder, OCD and PTSD.
...says the girl with an Inferiority Complex and SEVERE Hypochondria,  (also self diagnosed)














     Today I realized that stepping in puddles while wearing mesh running shoes  and getting your socks wet, isn't as bad as it seems when you're being dragged along a trail by a very hefty dog in 80 almost 90 degree heat. It's quite cooling. Who said I was pessimistic?!

-Liz

Don't read this, it's sad.

         I'm so sad, this makes two of my favorite actors, who have passed away this year. Mickey Rooney and Robin Williams. It hurts when someone who's acting ability's/profession you admired so deeply passes away. I'll never forget these two people. And the way they managed to make me smile even when I felt like a complete waste of space. And with that I share a few scenes...

-Mickey Rooney

-Robin Williams

-Liz 

Floppy Retina

     

I don't know who made this but can I please borrow it? Thanks.

   Today was absolutely menacing. I woke up much too early and had a coffee, so you can guess how the morning went. I was wired and I was talking too fast. I kept trying to ask my Mom if she thought I would look good with an Afro and she kept ignoring me, even though I was yelling from the backseat, over the radio that someone kept turning up to drown me out. Typical. I think people like finding creative ways to tell me to shut up.
      My Mom's  ( who has been having a bizarre array of health issues) eyes have been screwed up for the past week and we took her to see the optometrist and ophthalmologist. Not only did we have to wait forever in a room with four screaming children (one in-particular accused me of tightening the soap bottle lid in the restroom, now that I think of it, I wish I had. Is that bad?)
     My mom had talked with me last night, she was afraid that her retina was detached and they were going to tell her that she would have to have it surgically corrected, that she wanted me to go into the examination room with her. So when they called her back I stood up to go in with her and my sister followed and the Optometrist quite rudely says to me "We don't need you in here, go out there and sit down." Nothing ticks me off more than things like that. I wouldn't have went with my Mom if she didn't ask me to go. I don't like being spoken to like a child, I'm 20 years old. And I'm not about to be scolded by a complete stranger. What a poor way to run a business, being rude to your customers will only result in one thing, no longer having customers. After seeing the ophthalmologist and leaving she told us that he had said the retina wasn't detached but some gel or something that is around the retina or in the retina (I know nothing about eyes, don't judge me.) was flopping around in her eye (and the doctor said it was "annoying" can I just say DUH). So yeah, my mom has floppy retina stuff.

       I realized something while standing in line at the Dollar store, that I didn't notice before, and that is precisely this, That British royal baby, I think his name is George (yes, no, maybe?) is freakin adorable.

       Random facts.
1. BBQ Chicken Lean Pockets are amazing.
2. I'm pretty sure I don't want to ever get married.
3. Your fly is open. (HA! Made you look at your crotch :P)

-Liz

Crazy Little Thing Called Pie.

      Someone let me have chocolate pie. It was sugar free, so I'm not sure where this came from.
I'm lazy, I don't want to type it out, so you'll have to read screen shots from pinger. NO COMPLAINING! I do apologize for the ads. That's just pinger people. I messaged The Blonde One (otherwise known as Tiff) only like 13 times. I thought she would reply raging but i guess I amused her so with that being said, you may read how it went down, below. Cringe cringe cringe...

As if this madness wasn't enough I also told Jason that if I were to climb up on the roof of my house, the 3 slices of pie that I had recently ingested, would give me the super power needed to jump from the roof into space and kick the moon in the face.   

What have we learned today kids? 

Don't give Liz Pie. And if you think its a good idea to give Liz pie, you're wrong.

Mamma Mia, let me go.

-Liz

The Thrill of More Space.

After many trials, I finally got my bookcase up. Which is great. Due to the fact that I have a little more space in this coat closet of a room. I haven't started organizing the books. Which I need to get around to or it will bother me from here on out..OCD problems. About the only thing I did accomplish after setting it up and putting the shelves in, was putting the series books in order. Everything else was just thrown in where it would fit. But don't think bad of me because of it, my back was aching.








        I realize I haven't been doing such a great job of blogging frequently. so I am updating you right now. Sometime in July I stretched (yes mom, AGAIN) my ears to 0g. I think this will be the last time I stretch, but then again everyone says that and then before you know it, they've stretched again. We will see.








I have the strangest conversations with my good friend Jason. He made the mistake of talking about zombies with me and my brain being as weird as it is, I decided this would be the best way to reply to someone sending me a game play about zombies. I had a conversation with my sister while I was watching the video and I thought, wow, That was really an interesting conversation, Jason should know I should probably tell him. I know what you're thinking (except you made yourself look like a weirdo Liz...) right?

You're probably overwhelmed from reading this. You should go rest. 

                                                            

                                                                         -Liz

The heat, the worry.

The heat has been absolutely horrid today. Horrid. I walked from the car to the house and I thought I would die from heat exhaustion. I've been worried for the most part, my mom left for the doctor's office this morning(of course my sister drove her there), her blood pressure was super high and her arms were hurting. She's okay now but she gave us a scare. Why is it that people think I'm incapable of driving my own mother anywhere?...and yet another question why is pee yellow? Why is it not blue?

-Liz

A Little Lost

So what happens when your best friend moves to another state?
Naturally you try to piece together some form of life. Throw yourself out there and try to make some new friends. Try to become outgoing even though its hard. Honestly, I'm a little lost. Unsure of where I stand.  Alone.

-Liz

Seriously Pathetic

I recently posted a "who knows me best" list of questions on my personal Facebook just to see if anyone out there actually knew anything about me. How odd it was when my ex left a set of answers that were extremely accurate. I didn't know what to do, so I just liked the comment and didn't reply. In result he deleted his answers and I was confused. Then my sister left her answers to the questions and sadly missed a few. How pathetic I must be to only have two attempts to answer relatively easy questions about me, especially when those two people are
1.My sociopath ex.
And
2. My sister who should know me better but clearly doesn't.

Eventually you have to answer them yourself.
But still,
I'm not very happy about this.

Coke or Pepsi: 
Neither, I like RC best.

Books or movies: 
It all depends on what the books or movies contain. I'd rather watch a film than read bad literature and I'd rather read a book than watch a bland movie. 


Pool or beach:
Neither! I don't enjoy the thought of "Who's pee am I soaked in now. " Yuck. 


Dancing or singing: 
I'm not particularly good at either. I usually only do them for the sake of comedy. Rather people laugh with me than at me. 


Rain or sun: 
If its too hot out then let it rain, if its too cold out then let the sun shine!

Dogs or cats: 
All animals everywhere except maybe snakes and aardvarks, no offense aardvarks.


Inside or outside: 
Both, unless inside means "Inside Wal-mart" I'd rather not. 


Running or swimming: 
(see answer to "pool or beach") I also can't swim.


Full name:
Helen Elizabeth Jordan 


Eye color: 
Don't be fooled they look blue but the optometrist says they're gray.


Birthday: 
June 30th. 

Now you know.

So that happened.
My Best and ONLY Friend moved away today, So now I'm going to be more lonely than ever. (I'm Pathetic as already stated)
On Monday night, I had a small going away party for her. Her birthday is on July 4th I decided we needed to have fireworks. Since she wont be here for her birthday, I wanted her to see fireworks in Kentucky before she left. We didn't get to set any big ones off we were afraid that they would wake up my parents. It was still fun.

May you all take comfort in knowing that you are not the most pathetic person in the world. That position has already been filled by myself. Hope this cheered you up! No? :( poo.

-Liz 

Things That Help.

Experience a bad break up? Me too. Here are some things that have helped me deal.

• The Con by Tegan and Sara. I love this record and it will always be dear to me because it resonated with what I was feeling.  

Dating a Sociopath (A Blog) For a long time I couldn't understand why he treated me the way he did, I didn't know what was wrong with him. I needed some answers. After reading this blog I was sure I had my answer. I wont lie I was a little scared when I finally had a name for the problem.

• Captain EO!! I watched this over and over.
• Cutting off all my hair. Change is good for you sometimes.                                                                                         
• Totoro!!! This one is pretty much self explanatory.  
• The Destructors by (The amazing) Graham Greene. "Destruction after all is a form of creation."
• Garfunkel my goldfish. He's seriously the cutest fish I've ever seen. 
• Cheddar and garlic biscuits. They're delicious and I'm an emotional eater
• Cynthia Cruz. Such poetry. 
• Growing Radish Plants?? (Don't laugh) I decided I wanted to grow something a few weeks ago. I felt a sense of pride when my Radish plants began to grow. I don't know why.                      
• Destery. Comedic Relief. That is all. 

• I am a Rock by Simon & Garfunkel. "And A Rock feels no pain. And an Island never cries."

Well. That was a little depressing. :| 

-Liz 

Memorial Weekend Re-cap

Does your family ever just annoy you so badly, driving you to the point where you think "Living with yetis would be easier than this."? Yeah, that my friends describes my Memorial weekend.


While Memorial Day

is supposed to be about remembering our fallen soldiers/veterans and our loved ones who have gone on. I was so irritated by family that I (sadly) didn't spend much time thinking of people who I've lost only wasted my hours wishing people would "get lost" not in the sense of death, only in the "leave red haired people to their own devices" sense. While I love my family, a person can only take so much. And me being a person who likes to surround myself with "no drama mama" people, I felt like driving nails into my eye sockets when I found out that my family (Who for the most part, had traveled from the west.) had brought with them "to much drama mama". So between two cemeteries and too much argument, I feel like I need a Memorial Day do over, because that didn't feel like Memorial Day to me.

Its not okay to eat fish.

What do you guys think of the whole hologram happenings? I don't know if I should be creeped out or if I should be absolutely amazed. I think maybe for me its both . I'm so amazed that I'm creeped out or I'm so creeped out that I'm amazed I don't know exactly what to think. but those are the two initial reactions to it, are they not? Personally holograms blow my mind. You may have your own opinions.







I broke my headphones (sad face). When I say that I don't mean that I listened to music at high volumes causing them to stop working, That's not the issue here, its that I actually broke them. They are no longer headphones they're just, a broken, thing.

I've been trying to do this vegetarian deal. So that means all I've ate today is carrots, garlic bread sticks, and some popcorn.

I'm starving.

How do people do this?

I don't know how long this will last. I really don't want to eat meat anymore, I feel like such a murderer. I'd like to say I'm sorry to all the chickens everywhere, I once ate you in nugget form and for that I hate myself.

Speaking of animals. I have got to stop feeding Garfunkel every hour he's getting fat as a turd.

-Liz

Garfunkel

A few days ago, on a whim, I decided that I wanted a fish. Mostly because I'm lonely and pathetic, and because I really like fish.
I got a goldfish, (yes a goldfish) and at the time I didn't know really what I had gotten myself into. The reason I picked this specific goldfish is because he was all alone in the tank, so maybe he was just as lonely and pathetic as I was.
He didn't seem to be sick (Most pet stores take other fish out of the tank, where one is sick so to protect them from getting whatever disease the sick fish has.) he was swimming around with a lot of enthusiasm. Which raises a lot of questions about why he was alone, like "Did they sell all the other fish in that tank?" "Was he aggressive toward other fish?"
"Did he eat all the other fish in the tank?"
"Is he like Christian Bale in that American Psycho film? Did he go after the other fish with a chainsaw?"
All questions that didn't occur to me until after I had purchased him.
After getting the fish home and researching. Because lets face it goldfish die supposedly very fast. And I had already bonded with my pathetically lonely friend and wanted him to live forever and ever and never die. I needed to know how to keep him alive, and since they don't give out pamphlets on "How to keep one's goldfish alive" I searched the inter-webs for answers.
I found out that goldfish absolutely must have an air pump, if you want them to live any length of time, which I didn't have. So I had to purchase an air pump, a new tank, a bag of rocks, and a tank accessory in the form of a whale with a gaping mouth for Garfunkel (my fishes name. At first I planned to call him Achilles and then I remembered that Achilles died very young and that felt like a curse.) to go into and a hole in the stomach for him to come out of. Having to wait to get the air pump and for the water to filter I had to keep a close watch on Garfunkel and make sure he was still alive and change the water he was in frequently. It was very stressful for me and Garfunkel and wouldn't have been, had I been prepared.
Here's my advice.
1- Don't buy goldfish on a whim.
2- Make sure you research different types of fish before you decide to purchase one.
3- Don't name your fish Achilles.

-Liz

Self- deprecation

I've been dealing with PTSD, I'm not 100%, I'm not even 10%, I'm still loading. By that I mean that I'm not all there. Its 2:30 a.m.

I'm lying here in bed, thinking about life/spam texting my sister, and I have to tell you, I'm very disappointed in myself. When I was a kid I aspired to become Michelangelo  from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I've failed myself. I took a good, long, hard look in the mirror (metaphorically speaking, I cant stand looking at my face for that long) and I noticed that I'm nowhere near Teenage Ninja Turtle Material.

Mutant, yes. Ninja. no.

I've let my six year old self down. 

I also acknowledge that I never moved in with my best friend from first grade (as planned in first grade), to a house on the beach with lots of windows, where no boys are allowed. I'm a disgrace to my Youthful expectations!! If you need me I'll just be in the back of my closet sitting on my shoes and crying. Sorry for crushing your dreams little me, I'm also sorry about that haircut, you should have thought that one through a little more. It'll grow, you must endure. 

I have another bad haircut now actually, its literally as if everything and nothing has changed!! I woke up yesterday and said to myself "Hey! I think I'll make my hair wavy and poofy and dry looking" which was a bad idea because I ended up looking like Ginger from "As told by Ginger"

I leave you with this. 

-Liz

Life hates me.

Its sad, when you spend every waking moment talking with someone and then realize you don't really know who they are. Then they tell YOU they cant take anymore of the relationship. There's a hole inside me now, that no amount of Food City Deli cupcakes can fill. Do you feel sorry for me yet? I'm going to go buy a bunch of music from Amazon. Maybe that will fill the void, I highly doubt it. I don't know what to do to make myself feel better.

-Liz

Tegan and Sara - I Was A Fool